Yamcha Doesn't Know
by KayuraK
Summary: Yamcha doesn't know that Bulma and me do it in her lab every Sunday  Okay it's not a songfic. Bulma's pregnant, but she doesn't know that it's Vegeta's yet so she's still trying to make it work with Yamcha.  B/V  duh  and rated "M" to be on the safe side.
1. Okay, Nobody Really Knows

Yamcha Doesn't Know

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><p>AN: Okay I went and did it again. I started another fic. If it makes you feel any better it was writing this fic that got me inspired to do my last two chapter updates on _Regrets_ and _An Overdeveloped Sense Of Vengence. _This is my B/V get together story as opposed to _The Making of Trunks_ my B/V hookup story. While it is not required to read it for this it might help, or completely confuse you. I wrote _The Making of Trunks _over ten years ago and is a pretty zany take on how Trunk was concieved written when I was a teenager. Now I'm 30 and you'd think I'd have better things to do than write fanfiction... Shows what you know.

Remember kids! School is a preparation for the rest of your life. Not inasmuch as what you learn, but in getting you used to the idea of getting up and spending most off your day doing something you'd just assume not.

Now that I'm done depressing you, on with the show

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><p>Disclaimer: I own two cars, but only one runs. If I owned Dragonball Z I'd definately get the broken one fixed because it is so sweet. It's a cherry '84 Buick LeSabre Custom with a 307 engine that has that muscle car rumble when you start it up. You just wanna go cruising all day, it is so pimp!<br>As it stands I'm stuck driving my '84 Nissan Maxima. Great on gas mileage, but it looks like a silver turd on wheels. It's all beat up and torn up from the previous owners. I only paid $500 for it so it's worth it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I owned DBZ I have a better car at the very least. I'd probably have my own house too instead of renting a crappy one bedroom apartment. It would so have a pool too. I like swimming pools.

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><p>Chapter One: Okay, Nobody Really Knows<p>

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><p>It had been six weeks since the "incident," five weeks since he came out of the Gravity Room to find that the woman had gone back with her weakling while he was in seclusion trying to get his head on straight.<br>He wasn't sure what was worse. Letting her think she'd gotten one over on him, or letting her know that he'd wanted it.  
>He couldn't deny that he'd wanted her. Who wouldn't? She's gorgeous. He would've taken her a long time ago had it not been for the fact that she had the worst timing imaginable, always trying to catch him after training when he barely has the strength to stand, let alone screw. He would've loved to lap the cream off of her skin that night she had covered herself in that whipped dairy concoction that her mother puts on all her desserts had he the strength to do anything more than make it to his bed.<p>

It had been at least two years prior to his first trip to earth since he'd last had sex. He didn't really remember much of the encounter other than it happened, and it wasn't that good. Kinda like sticking it in a gallon jar of what the humans call mayonaise..., and just as messy. The first thing he did was jump in a regen tank to ward away any illnesses the trollop may well have been carrying.

The woman had gone to great effort to seduce him. At first he'd gone along with it because he honest believed she knew some sort of secret. It hadn't taken long for him figure out what she was trying to do when the clothing started coming off, but at that point he was too intrigued with the idea of what she had in store for him.

Not to mention dealing with over two years worth of blue balls, and had finally been given a situation relieve them when he wasn't on the verge of collapse. It was simple. Play dumb, and get laid. No need for empty promises or pillow talk. No need for foreplay. Just act like you don't know what's going on, and she'll do all the work. It was simple, or at least it had been. She'd gone straight back to her weakling, and all the world was as it should be, right? Wrong. There was a part of his pride that was hurt by the fact that she'd ran so willingly back to that loser, but it wasn't like she could ever hope to be good enough to keep the attention of the Prince of Saiyans.

She must've realized that she could never hope to keep him so she went back to someone who was well within her league if not a little below. Certainly that's what must've happened. So once again all was right with the world until three weeks ago when he started feeling an odd presence around the woman. The following week she started complaining about being late for something, and the next thing he knew his worst fear came to pass. She was pregnant. He kept waiting for her to approach him about being the father. It certainly was a possibility as their two species were compatible, but as far as he knew she had no doubt that the child she carried belonged to that weak, pathetic, unfaithful fool.

For the last 2 weeks the weakling and the woman's relationship cycle seemed to be moving at super speed with them breaking up and getting back together every few days rather than every few months as it had been since he'd taken residence at Capsule Corp. The woman still hadn't spoken to him since the incident, not since she told him that no one could convince her that he wasn't a Super Saiyan. She could stroke his ego almost as well as she could stroke other portions of his anatomy.

He found himself thinking about it more often than he honestly should. He found himself dreaming about it even. While he honestly prefered those dreams to the reoccurring one where he's chasing Kakarot and Future Boy and then has his father remind him of his heritage, he still found it disconcerting that he should be dreaming of the woman in the first place.

"The woman isn't worth this much thought." he said to himself as he finshed yet another extensive kata. He toweled off the extra sweat and walked into the house for lunch. He'd walked about five feet through the door when he saw something coming towards him out of the corner of his eye and he instinstually leaned back out of the projectile's way. He watched almost in slow motion as the red high heel shoe sailed inches past his nose and into the back of Yamcha's head.

"You bastard!" she yelled loudly enough to make the Prince's ears ring.  
>Vegeta turned his head to regard the woman uncertain as to which 'bastard she was referring.<p>

"It's not what it looks like, Babe!" the weakling and no doubt the 'bastard' in question responded.

"What are you two idiots squabbling about now!" roared the angry prince. Why he was angry he wasn't completely sure. It certainly wasn't because the woman was completely ignoring his presence. Definitely not! It must be because they are not groveling on their knees before their superior.

"It's none of your business." The loser replied. "We're just having a slight misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding? Misunderstanding!" The blue haired woman protested. "How is it that you can label lipstick on your collar as a misunderstanding!"

"It's your lipstick!" Yamcha refuted.

"It is not!" Bulma yelled at the top of her lungs. Vegeta rubbed his ears to ensure they were not bleeding. The heiress took a moment to catch her breath. "I would never wear that shade. It makes my complexion look orange."

"How do you know?" The weakling interjected. "You have so many there's no way you could keep track of them all."

"Well I do," she said mater of factly, "and I know what shades look good on me!"

"Enough!" the prince snapped. The woman still had yet to even acknowledge his presence... There was no reason for that to upset him. He usually enjoyed watching the woman verbally beat the pathetic excuse for a warrior into a pulp. It was one of his prime sources of entertainment.

He strode past the quarreling couple and into the kitchen where the only woman in this godforsaken compound who knew how to properly serve royalty waited with a feast fit for a king.

"I made all your favorites today, Vegeta!" the ever cheerful Mrs. Brief said in her sing-song voice. With as voracious as a Saiyan's appetite was one might think it would be difficult to tell what a Saiyan's favorite foods were, but true to her word the table was loaded with all of the dishes that Vegeta enjoyed the most. He could only guess that she knew based off of which dishes he would reach for first. As it stood it was hard to pick which one to eat first. After a few moments he decided on the large plate of spare ribs that was divided into three piles of ribs each slathered with his favorite barbeque sauces.

He didn't know how she did it. She seemed like such an idiot. Perhaps she was a savant when it came to figuring someone's likes and dislikes when it came to food. That in and of itself made living here worthwhile. Add the training equipment provided by the old doctor and the woman, and a better place couldn't be found. Still there were times that the woman's antics were a bit over the top.

Vegeta bit into a spicy spare rib, released his grip on it and held it in his mouth as his now free hand deflected the shoe that flew over his shoulder away from his lunch. It was unfortunate for the original target that the missle was swatted into his floating ribs with four times the force it had oringinally been thrown with. The two continued to bicker as the royal house guest continued to enjoy his meal, or atleast tried to. It ended with scarface saying something about never coming back for the fourth time this week, and his ki disappearing into the distance.

Bulma entered the kitchen glumly and sat down on the other side of the table where another rather large meal had also been set up. While it was still small by saiyan standards he knew it was more than the other three Capsule Corp residents normally ate for lunch and it was all sitting in a localized area much as his own meal was arranged if only on a much smaller scale. Between inhaling his kingly portions he looked up to see the woman tearing into her own meal with reckless abandon.

"Hey mom, do you think you could whip up another batch of these crab and cream cheese rolls? I'm starving. I guess that fight with Yamcha must've really taken it out of me."

"Sure thing dear." her mother replied happily. "That baby must have a really healthy appetite too."

"Well mom, I am eating for two." she said as she started her second twelve inch sub.

"I don't remember eating that much when I was pregnant with you," She said as she brought her daughter the fresh batch of rolls, "but it was a long time ago."

The prince paled as the information the elder Brief woman was expounding upon sank in. "Certainly not." he thought to himself. However she was eating more than twice her normal consumption. More like four or five times from what he was seeing.

"Though I'm pretty sure you're eating about half what Vegeta eats dear, and you don't seem to be gaining that much weight."

"Well I do keep up with my prenatal workout tapes." she said with a smile thinking about how she had the only all girl workout tape in existance that Master Roshi wouldn't drool over.

"I just don't see where it all goes." she said with a smile. "I'm going to the super market. It's so hard to keep up with so many healthy appetites!"

Most of the rest of the meal went by in silence. Both occupants of the table being too engrossed in their food. Well at least Bulma was. Vegeta's appetite was severely diminshed, but that didn't mean he was going to leave any food behind merely that he ate slower. He had too much on his metaphoric plate to digest to keep up his normal eating pace. As Bulma popped the last cream cheese roll in her mouth she wiped her mouth and stood to her feet.

"Woman." The Saiyan Prince said as he wiped his mouth with his napkin and also stood, "You must tell me something."

"Listen bud, I'm sorry if I embarassed you, but I don't really want to talk about it right now. I have enough man troubles as is."

"It's not about that!" he said as he slammed his fist against the table just enough to jar it a little. He wasn't about to damage it, he hadn't gotten to his sushi and it was common for him to save it for last as it was definately his favorite dish. "Well it is, but not in the way you are thinking."

"What could you possibly mean by that?"

"I mean that child you carry. Is there any possibility that it could be mine?"

"No." she said flatly.

"Are you certain about that?"

"Yes. I'm certain."

"Completely?"

"Yes Vegeta, completely."

"How can you be sure?"

"Well the doctor says that by the size of the baby I'm atleast ten weeks along and what happened was about 4  
>weeks ago."<p>

"Six weeks."

"What?"

"It was six weeks ago, woman."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!" he responded irritably.

"Well regardless I'm ten weeks along, not six or four so it obviously isn't yours."

"And you are certain of that?"

"What did I just get done telling you?"

"Very well, you can leave now, woman." he said as he sat back down to his plate of sushi.

"Why was it so important to you to know?"

He glared at her as he bit into his first piece of sushi. He chewed slowly holding her gazed as he swallowed, and finally replied, "If I was to be a father I would, by my honor, have certain responsibilties to attend to that would take away from my training."  
>"Wait a second." she said disbelievingly, "If I was carrying your child you'd take time away from training for me?"<p>

"How can you even ask that?" he said incredulously, "Just because I've slayed trillions and laid waste to entire planets, even galaxies, doesn't mean that I'm so much of a monster that I'd turn my back on my own unborn flesh and blood." He punctuated his comment with a bite of sushi. "Even if it is just a halfbreed."

Bulma Brief had never been so dumbfounded in her life. "You mean you'd be there for me..."

"If you were carrying my child yes. You honestly had me worried today. You ate like a Saiyan, and I thought you might be carrying one."

"You'd go to doctor's appointments, help me pick out stuff for the baby, and everything."

"Well I would want to keep tabs on the child's growth and ensure that all equipment purchased were fit for a young prince, and... Wait, why are we even having this conversation?"

"I really don't know." she said in a detached voice. When the doctor had told her yesterday that she was ten weeks along instead of the six as he'd quoted two weeks before her heart had leapt at the thought that her child had definately been fathered by her longtinme sweetheart and boyfriend Yamcha. Now after the fight she'd had an hour ago, and what the saiyan before had just said she found herself wishing for the first time that Vegeta had been the father.


	2. Remember the Taitans

A/N: I'm following about a half million stories and non of which have been updating with any real frequency. The result being that I'm writing more to make up for it. This chapter took a bit to put out. We had inventory at my store so I've bee kept busy without a lot of idle time to cook up more story points, but all and all I hope it was worth the wait.

PS (\l) (^,,,,^) (l/) I love Zoidburg, and I'd so add him into this story if I could get away with it.

Disclaimer: I'm thinking about trying to but stock in Funimation just so that I can truthfully say that I own a small percentage of DBZ, but until then I don't, so enjoy.

Chapter 2: Remember The Taitans

"You're kidding!" the heiress squealed in delight. "That's wonderful."

"I know, right?" Yamcha replied. "I could hardly believe it myself."

Part of Vegeta wanted to ask what was going on, but part of him didn't want to suffer aneurysm. Scarface had just come over and the two had been babbling nonstop about some nonsense, and were slowly making their way from the courtyard to the kitchen where he was eating his well earned breakfast in, what had been up until a few moments ago, peace.

Correction: Scarface was no longer an adequate nickname for the woman's mate. Vegeta had been introduced to a certain movie by the same name and decided that the idiot what not worthy of the association. "Loser," "weakling," and "pathetic excuse for a warrior" would just have to suffice.

Upon sparing the chatty couple a passing glance he couldn't help but notice the newly formed bruise on the nape of the loser's neck. It wasn't exactly fresh, a few hours at the most, but it occurred long before he got here this morning and it wasn't there when he left yesterday afternoon claiming there was something his agent wanted to talk to him about.

The Saiyan Prince did not gain knowledge of this situation of his own free will. The bothersome shrew had been lonely after the weakling had left and had somehow managed to persuade him to watch movies with her. The woman had seduced him with the promise of as much pizza and popcorn as he could eat, and it had provided him with a means to unwind after a hard day's training. The two of them had managed to put the awkwardness of their one night, or in their case one afternoon, stand behind them. They watched a string of cheesy horror flicks while they both ate a disturbingly large amount pepperoni pizza.

She had the courtesy of waiting until the boring parts where no one was being torn limb from limb or facing some other form of grotesque death to vent her problems. In all honesty it was more interesting than most of Haunted House on Birch Avenue, and Darker than Black. Neither film had much of a story and in place of any intelligible plot line there had simply been a lot of nudity. One of the women who bared it all was known to the female sitting beside him.

The prince had nearly jumped out of his skin when the woman suddenly shouted "Oh my God! That's Maron!"

"Who?"

"Oh yeah, you were in space when that happened." She went on to explain, "Krillen was dating that girl for a few weeks ."

"Baldie!" Vegeta exclaimed. "He was dating that?" he pointed disbelievingly at the screen where the well endowed female was taking off her top while staring blankly into the camera.

Her acting had been by far the worst he'd ever seen. Her part only lasted five minutes. Most of which was spent running from the killer while completely nude.

Bulma watched with rapt attention as the killer closed on the brainless bimbo. As the knife penetrated it's victim the woman shouted, "That's what you get for calling me old, you stupid bitch!"

Vegeta had to sit through the scene where Baldie's ex girlfriend was brutally stabbed and gutted about 5 more times before finally getting tired of it. He had to take the remote from the woman to keep her from skipping back to that scene again.

Sadly the rest of the movie wasn't much better so the woman talked him more than she did when they were watching those horridly repetitive 'Saw' movies. When they got to 'Saw V' Vegeta decided that enough was enough and demanded she pick something else. When the movie was over he'd relented and allowed the woman to watch what she had deemed "the best part" again.

It was hardly a night worth remembering. It had ended on a very boring note with the woman asleep on his shoulder. The only reason he wound up placing his arm around her was to keep from pitching forward onto the floor. That was the ONLY reason. It wasn't at all comfortable, well maybe a little, but it wasn't enjoyable. That's why he took her to her room and laid her in her bed about an hour after his arm finally fell asleep, and the Night in Terror Plaza had long since ended. He wouldn't have bothered tucking her in if he wasn't sure she would be a howling like a banshee in the morning if she woke up with cold toes.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been reminiscing about the night before, or why he'd done it in the first place when the woman's voice roused him from his reverie.

"Mom! You'll never believe it!"

"What is it dear?"

"They're making a movie called "Remember the Taitans" about the season Yamcha joined the team, and he's gonna be in it playing himself as the lead character!"

"My goodness, that's wonderful!" she said happily, "and I'll bet that if it's about Yamcha they might have something about you. Maybe you could get the part of yourself too, sweetie?"

"I hadn't thought about that." she considered the possibilities for a moment, but her thoughts were interrupted.

"Actually babe, the part of you had already been cast before my agent even talked to me about it."

"Awww, I guess it's for the best." She conceded. "I'd hate to see what would happen if the Gravity Machine broke during a take."

Vegeta emitted a low growl as he bit into another piece of bacon while the others enjoyed a laugh.

"Well, who got the part?" The woman asked.

"Synthia Vaughn."

"I don't believe it. Synthia Vaughn is playing me."

"She's not the only one." Vegeta grumbled as stole another glance at the mark on the weakling's neck.

Yamcha must felt his eyes because he covered his neck sheepishly and excused himself to the bathroom. He didn't return to kitchen, instead choosing to call out from the den.

"Babe, I just remembered. I... I got some errands to run today, but I'll be back tonight for the party!"

"But Yamcha!"

"Sorry, gotta go!"

It had been one thing when he and woman had their 'incident.' She and the weakling had been broken up for a little over a month when it had happened. The fact that the fool was actually seeing another woman behind his pregnant woman's back infuriated him. The bent fork in his hand was a testament to it, but he knew he had already meddled more than he should've between the two of him. It pained him. He wasn't sure why. It was most likely because the fool was beneath the woman. She could have easily found better. She wasn't good enough for the Prince of all Saiyans by any means, but she certainly deserved better than the pathetic loser to whom she was tied.

"Vegeta, sweetie, you will be coming to the party tonight, won't you?" the elder Brief woman asked.

"Party?" He hadn't really been aware of a party. "Why are you throwing a party?"

"Yamcha and I are gonna tell everyone about the baby!" Bulma said happily.

"How wonderful." he responded sarcastically.

"There'll be a ton of food." Bulma added hopefully as she sat down to her own sizable breakfast.

"Just a ton?" he quirked an eyebrow inquisitively, "What'll everyone else eat?"

Her eyes widened and her nostrils flared as grabbed the news paper and began pummeling the prince with it. "How dare you insinuate that I'm fat!" she shrieked in outrage.

Under most circumstances he would not have allowed such abuse. However, seeing as how it was first and foremost a pregnant woman, and secondly a pregnant woman who could do him absolutely no harm with a thick roll of paper; he allowed her to play out her rage against the side of his head while he sat there eating his bacon completely unfazed. She growled in frustration when she noticed her lack of effect and sat back down unceremoniously.

"Now that you have calmed yourself I would like to state that I said nothing about your weight only your food consumption." The prince said smugly as he bit into another piece of bacon.

"I know what he means, dear." her mother interjected, "Sometimes I swear I'm feeding two Saiyans."

The pair at the table blanched, but said nothing as they resumed their meal.

"There isn't something you're not telling me is there?" Mrs Brief asked almost knowingly.

"Of course not mom!" Bulma said in complete denial.

"You do seem to eat more than any pregnant woman I've ever seen before, dear." her mother responded. "If anything did happen between you two you wouldn't have to hide it. I'm not trying to pry, honest."

"Mom!" she howled as her face turned redder than the strawberries on top of her stack of pancakes.

"Well, I'm gonna go water the flowers." Mrs. Brief said as she retreated from the kitchen. "So if either of you are still hungry just come let me know, okay."

"I'm so sorry about that, Vegeta." Bulma said after the door shut behind her mother.

"It's fine woman." he responded. "I got used to your mother's antics a long time ago, or do you not remember the time she made me a Shirley Temple."

Bulma laughed at the memory of when they all were wished back to Earth from Namek. The mighty and fearless Veg had seemed at a loss as to how to deal with her mother. She treated him like the hero he wasn't, and he had no idea how to respond to his overly gracious hostess. The Saiyan Prince's awkward antics were a source of entertainment for Bulma and the Nameks during the time he had stayed with them. It had taken about three months before he finally started accepting the hospitality rather than questioning it dumbfounded.

"You'll come to party, won't you, Vegeta?"

"As long as you leave me some food, woman."

He expertly caught the strawberry she flung at him, and popped it into his mouth. He flashed her a satisfactory grin as he chewed it slowly savoring its flavor. She tried not to watch his enjoyment as she had instantly regretted having grabbed her largest strawberry in her moment of rage. She blushed a little remembering the last time she'd seen that look on his face. She rose a little too quickly to get away from the object of her embarrassment only to get dizzy and loose her balance. Vegeta noticed this and was there to steady her in a fraction of a heart beat.

"You need to be more careful, woman."

The thoughts she'd just been having coupled with the way he was holding her deepened the shade of red on her blushing face. She kept her head tilted down to hide it from him. "I'll be fine, I just need to sit back down."  
>He obliged her by deftly pulling out her chair and gently setting her down in it.<p>

"I forget sometimes how fragile you humans are." he said as he grabbed his last piece of bacon off of his plate.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked indignantly and forgetting her embarrassment.

"You have so much more spirit than many races ten times more powerful."

"Is that a compliment?" she said her eyes widening in disbelief.

"Perhaps." he took a bite out of his bacon strip, left the room, and Bulma alone with her thoughts.

She watched the prince longingly as he walked away. She knew she shouldn't. She was carrying another man's child after all, but that other man was hardly ever there. Sure they hadn't broken up for about two weeks, but as was mentioned before, he was never there. If he was never there he wasn't around to argue and break up with. He also wasn't there for moments like the one that had just transpired. He wasn't there to watch movies with her late into the night and put her to bed when she fell asleep on the couch.

No, she could never have her prince again. Especially not now that she was having Yamcha's baby. She had a memory of brief moment in time they had shared, and the dreams of what might have been. She locked them away in her heart. It had been wrong to trick him the way she had, but he didn't seem to hold it against her.  
>Chances were that even if she hadn't gone back to Yamcha, and been pregnant with his child that nothing would've happened between the two of them beyond that one day. Still, a girl can dream, can't she?<p>

Well, parties don't prepare themselves.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I hope to have another one up soon as well as updates to the other two stories that I'm currently pumping out.


	3. The Lies We Tell Ourselves

A/N Sorry for the delay. Blame CastleVille, and a slew of other apps I got myself addicted to. I could've sliced this into two chapters, but I figured after this long wait you guys deserved a nice long update. I couldn't get the begining how I wanted it no matter how I tried, so bear with in the first few paragraphs. They aren't up to my usual standard. Rest assured that there's plenty of fun throughout the 4,850 word update.

Disclaimer: I got an awesome cookbook from my mom over the holidays, but alas no one bought me Dragonball Z.

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><p>Chapter 3: The Lies We Tell Ourselves<p>

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><p>There was no reason for him to do what he did. None at all. Catching her was one thing, but the way he'd gone about it sickened him. The way having her that close made him feel sickened him. It wasn't that she wasn't still attractive despite her growing baby bulge... wait, what?<p>

This was completely wrong. She wasn't worthy of him, and most importantly she wasn't his to desire.

"Desire?" he breathed to himself, "Oh shit."  
>He'd been growing soft. He tried to reason his way around it by justifying his every action from an angle to make it seem as though each thing he did for her was more to his own benefit. It was a self deception at best, and not even a very clever one at that.<br>He just had to hope that everyone was more oblivious to his increasingly unbecoming behavior than he was.

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><p>She set down her planner and massaged her temples. The butterflies hadn't settled from her encounter at breakfast that morning. Remembering the feel of his strong arm around her, steadying her, comforting her... "No that can't be right!" she complained aloud to herself. Vegeta isn't the type to comfort anyone. She knew this, but still.<p>

"Why can't I get him off my mind?" she grumbled. It was a simple matter of wanting what you can't have. That's all. "It's not, and you know it." she berated herself.

Once upon a time it had been that simple, but that was before she'd had a taste of what he had to offer. She knew that just a taste would never be enough, and that he had to have known what he was doing. No virgin could be that good no matter how well equipped. If that had been his first time she was dying to know how could he could get once he'd had a bit of experience, and if he was experienced she desperately wanted to know what other tricks he knew.

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" She punctuated each exclamation by beating her head against her notebook. Getting herself all hot and bothered over Vegeta was not helping her get tonight's party put together.

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><p>Her mother worked dilligently on the food preparations. With two and a half Saiyans on the guest list it was bound to be taxing, but Mrs. Brief took it all in stride. She made desserts untill the buffet table set aside for them was near the point of collapse, and there was still a batch of cookies, three cakes and two pies still baking.<br>Sushi was done and filling no fewer than 12 large tupperware containers in the fridge. Half of the ovens now contained hams, turkeys, and lamb.  
>Pork ribs and chicken filled the smoker on the back patio. The kitchen counters were covered with chopped, minced, sliced and diced vegetables ready to go into stews, salads, vegetable dishes, and appetizers.<p>

Bulma was overseeing the decorations, and with a team of professionals hadn't managed to make nearly the headway her mother had on her own.  
>Usually she could keep pace, but damn. Just damn.<p>

"Ms. Briefs, we can take it from here."

"You're a lifesaver, Nadia." Bulma replied. "I just can't seem to get my head on straight."

"I know what you're going through," Nadia comforted, "I have three of my own."

"You can tell?"

Nadia quirked an eyebrow.

"How?"

"Well, for starters I've been pregnant before, and secondly, no offense, but you're a bit too vain to let a bump of any size rest on that tummy of yours for any reason. Then when you factor in that hottie with the spiked hair and the spandex shorts I saw in the yard about an hour ago. Honestly I thought is was time you ditched Yamcha. He's way too much of a player, and you don't seem to connect anymore."

"Um, I'm still with Yamcha. In fact I planned this party to tell our friends about the baby."

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, I actually agree with you on a good bit of it to tell you the truth." she confided, "Is it really that obvious?"

"Which part?" Nadia asked as she lead Bulma out of the range of prying ears. She had a few new girls on her design team, and she could never be sure if she could trust them not to leak to the tabloids should they hear anything juicy. She had no desire to loose Bulma's trust.

"Yamcha and me not clicking anymore." Bulma said quietly once they had settled on the plush couch in the den.

"That's been obvious for a while. Even before you took your extended vacation." Bulma blushed slightly knowing that the extended vacation Nadia spoke of was her trip to Namek.

"To tell you truth I think I'd be done with him if it wasn't for the fact that I'm pregnant. I'm willing to give him a chance to be a father to his child,and be a family."

"So, what's the scoop on 'Spikey?'" Nadia ventured. "He seems like your type if I ever saw it. Isn't there even the slightest chance that he's the father. Didn't you get a piece of..."

"Keep it down, and yes. I did, but only once and the due date doesn't match up. So it's not his."

"What was he like, if you don't mind my asking..."

"I was in control for about half of it, and it amazed me how every little move he made made it even better." the heiress's eyes glazed over for a moment, "Then he took over, and he totally blew my mind. He used positions I'd never even thought of, and the angles, and oh god is he flexible! I never knew it could be that good. If I had to describe it in one word I would definately have to say 'Super.'"

"Better than Yamcha?"

"By leaps, bounds, and lightyears. It was the best I've ever had. Either Vegeta is a sex god, or Yamcha has no idea what he's doing."

"Can't it be both?"

* * *

><p>The girls shared a hearty laugh that drowned out the sound of a sports bottle dropping to the floor in the kitchen from which a beet red Vegeta had just fled in embarassment to the Gravity Chamber after having heard the woman share his sexual exploits.<p>

"Here she is setting up a party to tell everyone about her and the weaklings child, and she's bragging about me to the decorator." His momentary embarassment melted away as a prideful smirk took possession of his face. "Sex god? Woman, if you only knew." he said darkly to himself as his smirk expanded it's territory across his face.

* * *

><p>Bulma awoke from a three hour nap with less energy than when she laid down. "Damn it." she cursed sleepily as she slid into the outfit she picked out three days prior. She made quick work of freshening her makeup and getting her hair the way she wanted it.<p>

When she opened her bedroom door she heard her mother offering drinks to some of the guests who had arrived early. She rushed down the hall and cut around the corner and ran headlong into a freshly showered Saiyan. She stumbled backwards a few steps and nearly fell, but a strong set of hands steadied her once more.

"You need to watch where you're going, buster!"

The prince quirked an eyebrow, "I should watch where I'm going? Woman, you are carrying a child. You are the one who should be more careful. I won't always catch you." He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall behind him.

"You jerk!" Her arm jerked back to strike him, and instantly found herself face to face with an angry Vegeta.

"I am not your pathetic weakling. You will not raise your hand to me." His voice was calm and even, and his grip on her wrist was firm but gentle. "You need to get your head on straight and your hormones in check." he leaned in closer, "I paid you an uncharacteristic kindness twice today." he breathed into her ear, "I could've easily let you fall, but I didn't. Remember that."

Her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment both from the truth of his words, and the proximity of his body. "I'm sorry, Vegeta."

"And..." he said expectantly pulling his face away from her ear so he could look her in the eyes.

"Thank you."

"That's better."

As he released her wrist she leaned into him and rested her arms on his shoulders and around the back of his neck.

"Thank you." she repeated, "I've been such a bitch, and you don't deserve it."

Her voice cracked on the last word, and Vegeta now feared the worst. She was about to cry, and the last thing he wanted was to deal with was a crying female. His mind leaped back to the last time he'd seen the woman on the verge of tears, and didn't wind up bawling. He mimicked what her mother had done in that instance, drew her close, and slowly moved his hand in circles on her back while holding her head his shoulder.

It wasn't that he was particularly worried about the woman's feelings, or even had much of an aversion to her crying aside from the headache he'd have. No, he was more concerned with her wailing bringing the unwanted attention of ...

"Hiya, Vegeta!"

"Kakarrot!"

"Goku!" Bulma pulled away quickly realizing the compromising position she was in. "We were just..." she stammered.

"I can tell you're busy. See you at the party!" Goku said happily as he poofed out of existence. At first Vegeta thought his fondest wish had come true until he remembered that Instant Transmission trick of his.

* * *

><p>"C'mon, just a few more drinks. Then we can go to that bimbo's party." said a blue haired girl with blonde eyebrows.<p>

"I don't think you were invited, Synthia."

"But Yamcha, it would be a great way to research my role. How can I effectively play Bulma Briefs if I've never met her?"

"It's kind of a private affair. Just a handful of close friends. You aren't missing much of a party."

"I can promise one hell of an after party if you take me along." she purred coming up behind him and kneading his shoulders.

He grinned stupidly from ear to ear and took another shot.

Under normal circumstances Yamcha would never dream of taking a girl he was banging within a hundred miles of Bulma, but Synthia Vaughn wouldn't take "no" for an answer. A few drinks later Yamcha had ingested enough courage to convince himself he pull this off without a hitch.

* * *

><p>Since the party didn't officially start for about another fifteen minutes she felt that she had time to share a guilty pleasure with an old friend.<p>

"Hey Chi Chi, I got something to show you."

"Really, what is it?"

"You'll see. Just come with me."

She led her into the den and popped in a DVD.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe I'm actually doing this" Piccolo grumbled.<p>

"C'mon this is gonna be fun, just relax and loosen up." Gohan said happily.

"Where'd your mom go?" Goku asked as he looked around courtyard.

"I think your wife went back inside with Bulma." Piccolo responded.

"What's shaking guys?"

"Krillen!" Gohan laughed and flew straight into his friend knocking him over. "It's so great to see you."

"Great to see you too, and man I can already see you've improved a great deal. You're twice as strong as you were on Namek. Your training must be pretty intense."

"Yeah, Dad and Mr. Piccolo are pretty hard on me, but it's really paying off. I know I'll never be as strong as they are, but you got to have something to shoot for."

"Yeah! Serves that bitch right! Stab her again!" Chi Chi's voice echoed from inside the house.

In a few heartbeats the gang had gathered at the source of the commotion. Chi Chi and Bulma were sitting in the den watching and cheering as a serial killer gutted Krillen's ex girlfriend on the big screen tv. Goku was quick to cover his son's eyes, not because he thought that his son was unaccustomed to gore, but rather because the woman being cut up was completely nude.

"Marron?" Krillen said weakly as his eyes remained glued to the screen. Master Roshi and Oolong had elbowed their way to the front of the crowd to get a better look.  
>"Any chance you can rewind this back to where she's still in one piece." Master Roshi inquired and was immediately answered with Bulma's right hook.<p>

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes into the party everything should've been fine, but there were a few things that had the blue haired hostess. For once, Vegeta wasn't one of them. He managed to combine his three favorite pastimes of keeping to himself, eating, and trying to out do Goku. He and Goku were neck and neck piling on a fourth helping of food onto their flimsy Styrofoam plates. She was used to his behavior so while she wished he stay closer he wasn't acting uncomfortable. That was more than could be said about Tien.<p>

Tien definitely had more on his mind than fusing over Choutzu. They had been among the first to arrive, and he stood to his feet every time the door opened only to sit back down with a resigned look on his face. She didn't know him as well as she did most of the others. He'd only stayed at Kame House for a few weeks after Goku had defeated King Piccolo, and most of that was spent training so there wasn't much time to get acquainted. There was something very off about him tonight.

Goku had a completely nonchalant attitude about catching her with Vegeta. She had expected some sort of accusatory glare. Something to indicate that he didn't approve, but he seemed completely happy with her. He didn't even question Yamcha's absence.

Yamcha's absence was what had her the most bothered. This was supposed to be their big night to celebrate with their friends the life they'd made together, and he was late. She'd been asked the what the occassion for the party had been, and her answer had been simply, "You'll find out when Yamcha gets here." He was nearly an hour late, and she was pissed. Not even Puar knew where he was. She was sure they'd finished shooting two hours ago, but he'd called and said to meet him here.

Goku couldn't be happier. There was lots of food, good friends, and Trunks was definitely on the way. Seeing Vegeta showing a softer side to Bulma made him feel much better about his oldest and dearest friend hooking up with a former mass murderer. He could feel the powerful ki growing inside of Bulma. Things had sorted them out just as the boy from the future had predicted. Aside from the heart virus, that is. He was being more careful about these days, and didn't do anything that Chi Chi said would "make him sick." Having the antidote was a nice insurance against it, but he'd be happier if he didn't get the virus at all.

Vegeta could see that the woman was no doubt troubled that her loser boyfriend hadn't arrived yet. Instinct drove him to go over to her and urge her to sit down, try to relax, and remind her that the wimp feared her far too much not to come. He restrained himself easily and bit into his burger. Mrs. Brief had outdone herself, and he wouldn't have minded taking the time to savor the grilling perfection that graced his tongue. If he did, Kakarrot would surely surpass him in food consumption, and he simply couldn't have that. One thing he loved about a Brief's party was that it was never restricted to one type of earth cuisine, and featured a healthy sampling of the best this planet had to offer whether it was burgers, ribs, curry, sushi, jerked pork, enchiladas the list went on and on. He'd just bit into his last piece of sushi (from this trip) when he felt the weakling's ki approach. His hover car landed just outside the courtyard where the festivities were under way. The moment the door opened a familiar scent hit him. He'd never met the source of this scent. He only knew it because it commonly clung to Yamcha. He dropped his fork in utter disbelief as an obviously intoxicated scarred loser exited his hover car with another woman in tow.

"Hey guys!" he said cheerfully as everyone stopped what they were doing to greet the latecomer.

"Hey Yamcha," Choutzu said as he floated up to the bandit turned ball player, "Bulma said we'd find out what the party was about when you got her."

"She did?" Yamcha stammered.

"Who's the lady?" Master Roshi was quick to interject. "Aren't you gonna introduce her to the man that taught you everything you know?"

"He's a baseball couch?" his escort inquired.

"Slow down, everybody."Yamcha said waiving his arms.

"Yamcha!" Puar squeaked as she hovered over the crowd to get to her best friend. "I hope you know what you're doing." she whispered.

"I guess in case you haven't heard. I'm gonna be in a movie." he exclaimed.

"So that's why Bulma threw the party."Oolong deducted.

"Yamcha!" Bulma fumed as she elbowed though everyone so she could scold her man properly.

"Hey Bulma, sorry I'm late. I wanted you to meet my co-star Synthia Vaughn. She's playing you in the movie." He quickly covered.

"So you're Bulma Brief. Pleasure to meet you." the actress greeted.

"The pleasure is mine." she responded, and was momentarily diffused. "There's still some food left though Goku and Vegeta have already made quite a dent already.

Vegeta had to applaud the weakling for his boldness. Thus far he had covered his tracks well, but he doubted the nimrod could hold the charade for long. He decided to play a little game and went up for his fifth helping, but this time scaled it back to more "human sized" portions. He could out do Kakarot later. He made his way over to the actress, and began making small talk.

"I believe I've seen a few of your movies." he said as he picked up a few kabobs and a scoop of roasted potatoes onto his plate.

"Well I've only been in a few," she began in a dismissive tone and stammered to a halt when she got a good look at the bronzed man beside her in the spandex shorts and tank top. "I don't believe Yamcha ever mentioned having a friend as ruggedly handsome as yourself."

"Well, we're not exactly what you'd call friends."

"I see." she said as she stole a glance over to her jealous co-star, "but I don't see a single reason why we can't be on good terms, Mister?"

"Vegeta." he said smugly knowing full well that it was burning Yamcha alive to see his little plaything eating right out of the Prince's hand.

He walked over to the Bulma's table and set his plate down. Synthia followed suit, her eyes glued to the Saiyan Prince. Yamcha followed Cynthia to the table, and thus fell right into Vegeta's trap.

"This movie I'm doing with Yamcha is probably my biggest role yet." she bragged as she scooted a few more inches closer to Vegeta causing both Yamcha, and to the saiyan's surprise, Bulma to fume.

"Weren't you in "The Birch Lane Massacre?" Bulma inquired.

"Yes, you could say that most of my roles have been in the 'Horror' genre." she responded.

"I bet running up all those stairs must be quite a workout." Bulma lightly jabbed.

"I'm amazed you've had time watch any movies, the way you train all the time." Yamcha chided trying to get Synthia's attention back.

"Training for what?" she asked with genuine interest.

"All he ever does is fight. I doubt he'd be here if it wasn't for the free food."

Usually Vegeta wouldn't stand for such remarks from the likes of Yamcha, but in this case it served a purpose. The woman was sure to pick up on the Yamcha's jealous behavior regarding his floozy. Now to start the second phase.

"Bulma," he said completely disregarding Yamcha's derisive comment's, "I must say you've truly outdone yourself this time."

"Thank you, Vegeta." she said smiling contentedly.

"You know this doesn't have anything on some of the parties I've been to." Synthia interjected.

"Really, like whose?"

"Wistor Rhinehart for starters."

"I've been to Wister's parties. They couldn't hold a candle to the Annual Capsule Corp Holiday Gala. That's a red carpet event. Wister himself has said it's his favorite party of the year."

"What about Bernard Westing?"

"His parties are rarely the size of this one, and this is just something I threw together for a few close friends to celebrate something very special." she said with a dismissive flick of the wrist. "My mom catered this."

"I would've guessed Yamcha getting a start in the movie business would've been something worthy of a far grander celebration. It's a good thing you have at least one celebrity here."

Vegeta felt a hand brush his thigh. He had misjudged Yamcha's dalliance. The Prince hadn't counted on her continuing to pursue him right in front of loser.

"Hey Vegeta, I think Mrs. Brief just brought out dessert." Yamcha said hoping to put some distance between Vegeta and Synthia.

Bulma was getting more and more pissed by the second. Her boyfriend was actively picking a fight with Vegeta over his 'co-star,' and the bitch was getting more and more insufferable by the second. She needed some air, and she needed some payback.

"That sounds great. Hey Vegeta, wanna get some dessert with me."

"Sure, let's just hope that Kakarrot hasn't put his fingers in everything already."

The moment the Bulma and Vegeta got up Yamcha scooted over to Synthia and began speaking in fevered whispers.

"Babe, what the hell are you doing? We're guests."

"She started it."

* * *

><p>"This looks good." Bulma said trying to take her mind off of her child's father.<p>

"I'm fond of your mother's District 13 Chocolate Cake" (A/N: German Chocolate Cake)

"It's so nice to see you guys getting along so well with Yamcha." Goku said from behind them.

"What are you talking about, Kakarrot?"

"Well I figured this would've put more of a strain on your friendship."

"Goku. What are you talking about?"

Goku stared blankly at them for a few moments. "Oh nothing! Forget I said anything. Great party by the way."

"What an idiot."

"I've known Goku half my life, but I doubt I'll ever truly understand him."

The pair made their way back to the table with plates overflowing with goodies.

"Hope you left enough for everyone else." Yamcha chided as Bulma sat dawn on her side of the table. Vegeta sat next to Bulma to avoid the claws of the moron's plaything.

"Looks like someone's already had enough." Synthia said as she gave Bulma a once over. "Either that or your treadmill hasn't seen much use."

"No wonder you always play such a stuck up bitch in all your movies." Bulma snapped. "It's probably so you don't have to act. You can just be yourself."

"I beg to differ." Vegeta interjected, and drew the undivided attention of both women. "If her film career was any indication, you could expect her to take her clothes off as soon as she ceased to be interesting. That is obviously not the case otherwise she would have been nude within five minutes of her arrival."

"Bitch, you need to keep your man on a fucking leash!" Synthia shouted in outrage.

"What did you just say?" Bulma asked uncertain as to whether she heard the actress correctly.

Vegeta's first response was to tear this woman apart for the presumption that he could ever be leashed, but as the full implications of the statement hit him he decided it would be more amusing to see if that pathetic excuse for a warrior could dig himself out of the grave he was currently lying in.

"I think it's time to take you home Synthia. You've had a bit much tonight." Yamcha interjected as he quickly began ushering the actress back towards his hovercar.

"What the fuck did that stupid cunt just say to me!" Bulma shrieked loud enough to reverberate throughout the courtyard.

Cynthia ducked her way out from under Yamcha's arm and put her face nose to nose with Bulma. "I said." she paused to take a calming breath, "To keep your spikey haired bastard of a boyfriend on a fucking leash. Is that so fucking hard to understand?"

"Wait, you think Vegeta is my boyfriend?" Bulma's voice becoming more strained in anger with each word. She rounded on Yamcha, "Why would she think that Vegeta is my boyfriend?" she asked her voice low and even.

He scratched his head and sputtered as the rage built in Bulma's expression.

"You... you... you!" Bulma stammered.

"Catch ya later guys!" Yamcha yelled as he scooped up his co-star, and flew away in the blink of an eye.

"...You ASSHOOOOOLE!" Bulma screamed after him as they disappeared in the distance leaving his hovercar behind in his haste to escape.

"Well, I guess there is some good news." Gohan stated, "Since we revived Yamcha with the Dragonballs from Namek we can still use the Earth Dragonballs to bring him back after Bulma gets a hold of him."

"Good thinking son." Goku said as he patted his son on the head. "Good thinking."

* * *

><p>AN: There you have it folks. Hope you enjoyed. The next chapter is nearly done. I started writing it when I hit writer's block with this one. So it should be out in a reasonable amount of time. I'm throwing a bone to everyone who watched the original series "Dragon Ball" in the next chapter. It may spawn a spin off fic that I won't start til I've finished at least one of my other fics.

Please review. I hate to be a review whore, but deep down everyone who publishes on this site is.


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